At esmale we have been working together with Gaydar for many years. A lot of their members have been regulars with our store and I can promise we have provided many with a gay dildo and some spunk lube to get them ready for dates and playtime. So, supplying people with pleasure tools is something we do on a daily basis but when it comes to dating we are as lost as many others. With this in mind we contacted Gaydar and asked if they could shed some light on this illusive practice and this is what we got back.
Top tips brought to you by Gaydar
Let’s face it, there’s nothing easy about dating gay guys. We’re complicated, contradictory, and often quite messy. But, despite the frequent set-backs and disappointments, it’s hard-wired into our human nature to continue to search for intimacy, trying to make that connection with another guy that might lead to something more or at least satisfy our sexual needs.
Gaydar has been in the gay dating business for over 20 years. We’ve helped a lot of men, all around the world, connect with each other and take things to that next level. We were one of the first online social platforms. Built specifically for gay men, and we’re still hard at it today.
One of the things that we’ve realised – and this is backed up by the data generated by the activity of Gaydar members – is that dating gay guys is very much a numbers game. Sure, you might get lucky and meet someone amazing and never have to look for a date again, but most of us are out here grafting – sending messages, sliding into DMs, posting dick pics, hooking up, getting off, and then doing it all again.
To help share the benefit of our experience and to try and learn from our mistakes, here’s some of our top tips for dating gay guys.
Become a marketing expert
Take a critical look at your dating app profile. Does it present the best version of yourself? Is it going to catch the eye of the type of guy that you’re looking for?
You can’t be half-assed about your dating app profile. First impressions count. There’s a lot of competition out there. You need your profile to be strong enough to stop guys scrolling past it.
In this context, it helps to see yourself as a bit of a product – what you’re selling is you. No one else is going to be as invested in your dating life as you, so take some time to polish your profile and increase your chances of landing a date.
Taking some new photos is always a good place to start. Check out the profiles that catch your eye and compare them to yours – what can you learn from them? Road-test your profile with your friends – ask for some constructive feedback.
There’s no point putting up a killer profile and then sitting back assuming that your job is done. Sure, guys might see your profile and hit you up, but what if they don’t? Everyone is busy. There’s lots of reasons why your profile might not be getting the attention of guys that you’re interested in.
Take charge of the situation. Search for guys that you want to connect with – send them a message and let them know that you’re interested. If they don’t reply, no problem – move on and continue the search. You have to let people know that you’re online, in the neighbourhood, and ready for some fun.
Don’t be a dick
One of the really disappointing things about online dating is the amount of toxic behaviour that you inevitably encounter.
Don’t be that guy.
If someone contacts you that you’re not interested, you can let them know politely without being offensive. If someone stops messaging you or ghosts you, there’s no point being upset about it. They could be busy or away or anything – don’t harass them, move on. Don’t make your profile a list of the guys that you’re not into – be positive, talk about what you like.
Don’t rely solely on your phone
Obviously, we love online dating, but location-based apps on your phone are not the only way to connect with guys.
It’s good to mix it up a bit. Have a drink at a gay bar, kick back at a bathhouse, go cruising in your local park. A bit of eye contact and some sexual tension and anything is possible.
Don’t give up
It’s sometimes very tempting to just throw your phone into the sea and swear off men altogether. Trying to date gay guys can be a frustrating endeavour. It’s okay to occasionally take a break from the apps. That’s good self-care – but you’ve got to be in the game if you want to score. If someone has made you wonder whether it’s all worth it, take a deep breath, shake it off, and send some fresh dick pics out in the universe. Somewhere, someone is going to be into what you’ve got going on.