Your guide to anal sex for beginners

When pleasuring your partner anally

Remember to take your time, be slow and gentle. No matter how many times you and your partner may have tried it; you must still take it easy. It may be required that your partner may need time for you to just be still so they can adjust to the feeling of your penis inside of their anus. To prepare yourself for the real thing invest in a small butt plug, and practise using it alone or with your partner.

Make anal entry easier

Foreplay and lube are essential in this process, a small butt plug or finger rimmer can help reassure and prepare you partner for the real thing!

There are a few positions that make anal entry easier for beginners. In the first position, your partner should be on their knees and elbows, bent over. If your partner has something under their chest, such as a pillow or a blanket, they may be more comfortable. Your partner should try to relax as much as possible. If it will help them, try to get them to think about something other than what you are about to do. Once the anus is relaxed, it is not only much easier for you to penetrate it, but it also less painful for your partner.

In the second position

Your partner should lay on their back with their knees up. Once again, a pillow or a blanket may make them feel more comfortable. Place the pillow or blanket under their bum this time. The extra height will help you to enter the anus more easily.

Finally, in the third position

Your partner would lay on their side. Their legs can be either spread apart as if they were taking a step forward, or they could bring their upper leg up to their chest. There are other ways they may positions their legs if they wish. They should do what ever feels comfortable and pleasurable for them.

They will tell you what feels good

When preparing to have anal sex with your partner, you may consider playing around with them a little bit instead of getting straight to intercourse. Take some time to build up the mood and get you both excited. Spend some time going down on, a small butt plug usually does the trick whilst paying attention to their genitals as well. You also might want to prepare your partner’s anus for entry by licking it or fingering it. Once again, let your partner be your guide. They will tell you what feels good, what doesn’t feel good, and how fast or slow to go.

If you’re going to lick their anus (rimming)

It is advisable to start off slow and gentle. Don’t penetrate right away. Spend some time gliding your tongue around and across the hole. This will loosen up and prepare the anus to open up. Then, gradually, you can start to penetrate the hole with your tongue. Pay attention to your partner’s actions and reactions to see what they like or don’t like as well as getting them to guide you. If they don’t guide you at all, this would be a good way to tell what you should and shouldn’t keep doing.


If you plan on fingering your partner then be sure to keep your nails short and trim. Fingernails can cut the inside of your partner’s anus, and can be very painful. Also remember that your fingers can be rough. Fingers are rougher than both your penis and your tongue, so be careful. Be very careful about how you penetrate the anus with your penis too. If done incorrectly, it can be a lot more painful than it would be if it were done correctly. Don’t attempt to get yourself in all at once. Slide in a little bit at a time. It should take you a good bit of time to get the whole length of your penis inside. The actual amount of time will depend on your partner (remember let your partner be your guide).

Once you are completely inside

You won’t be moving in and out completely right away either. It’s going to take a lot of patience. But once you have gotten to where your partner says it’s okay for you to move in and out as you wish, you should both experience a great deal of pleasure. Pleasure that will be well worth all the time and effort you put in to getting to that point.

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